Walking around in your daily funk wishing your life could be someone else’s. Walking around you don’t get anywhere except dizzy and sick. No wonder you never found the stairs. Stairs running up and down. It’s automatic that some escalate while others go spiraling downward. Dreaming from the bottom floor, there’s only static from an uneven frequency. Sad in the stationary. Are there any other words in this vocabulary? What I didn’t get is how I might have been already happy. Skinny dipping in the river. Diamonds skipping on the water. The earth’s your mom. The sky’s your father. The moon’s your son. The sun’s your daughter. And we’re all bound together. Tripping around in your daily haze with your sunken in eyes and your gaunt little face like you’re starved and blind. Tripping around with your soul underfoot, you can’t fit in your shoes or find any clues of a grand design.

I got my starched white buttondown, a jeep to cruise me into town, a job that could pay both of our bills. Got a boat sitting in a dock, a future sitting in a stock, my eye upon a house in the hills. But I don’t got you and babe it’s not as though my choices are few. It’s so sad but true. You’ve got my hope for humanity, my soul shred of sanity, the other head is hooked on you too. I’ve got a room at the Marriot Marquis and that’s not all I got. Just name the club, I’m there, VIP. I’ve got a six week paid vacation anytime in any nation. It don’t make no difference to me ‘cause I don’t got you and how to get you girl I don’t have a clue. It’s so sad but true. You’ve got my depth and my decency, you make this love increase in me with every damn thing you do. You walked in and ruined everything. I’ve got a friend who says I’m losing it. We used to go out cruising it. It’s really not much fun anymore. I’ve got an empty box of oreos, a headache and a runny nose, I’m waking up each day on the floor. I got this woman who would be my wife the rest of her entire life. Not only is she 36D, but she is Audrey Hepburn elegant and Einsteinly intelligent and it don’t make no difference to me ‘cause I don’t got you and how to get your ass I don’t have a clue. It’s so sad but true. You’ve got my head at full attention, babe, too many times to mention, babe. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. You walked in and ruined everything.


I don’t know why I am so damn particular when you know, babe, I know, babe, I’ll never find noone as good as you. So who then am I to be so very critical of everything you do, everything you wear, everything you say, the way you cut your hair? A more sorry fool I never knew. I don’t what I did to deserve you. I sure know what I did to unnerve you. I just want to get down, down on my knees, woman and serve you. Lord hear my prayer, there’s this woman I love who has surely been sent from your heaven above. Girl, I know that I’ve hurt you with things that I’ve said. Please baby, know that I would rather be dead than to lose you. Out of any woman in this world, girl, I choose you. I choose you. I come home late and I don’t even notice the dinner that you cooked, how clean that kitchen looked. You work all day at that job that don’t pay you a single fraction of what you’re worth while the luckiest fool on earth is too busy to do the dishes or tell you just how delicious you look.



I am unable to do what you have asked me. You surely are no sugar, Cain. More like unstable as you go wobbling past me like a drunken robin on a broken window pane. Don’t tell me once again how talented I am. I don’t need to hear it from a know-it-all to know. And where you’re going, baby, I don’t really give a damn. Just as long as you go. Because you sadomasokissed me with your water melancholy flower optimistic eyes. Was it really that much a surprise that after such evil prices there’d be nothing left but good-byes? I passed the gas your way, standing by the speaker like it was 19 fucking 84. The baggage you were carrying put the big into Big Brother. I’m amazed you even made it through the door. Don’t tell me once again I cannot leave the room unless it’s for a crisis or a show. Hey, it’s Lucifer incarnate with his endless doom and gloom and if you’re wondering why I’m gone, then you should know it’s ‘cause you sadomasokissed me with your water melancholy flower optimistic eyes. You sadomasokissed me. Was it really that much a surprise that you sado? You sadomasokissed me with you oil spilling over-timing workman’s compromise. Was it really that much a surprise that after such evil prices there’d be nothing left but good-byes? And the Kingpin said, "Tell you the secret of the business, boy and I suggest you use it. You won’t be bringing anybody joy making that elevator music."


The postman brings me nothing. He said no news is good news. I’m waiting by biting off my toenails. I’m waiting for the smallest of clues. Anticipation makes me thirsty but no water can quench this thirst. It’s concerning the lava that’ll burst in me. I just don’t want my hand to end up there first. You and I weren’t hippies. We just spent weekends in bed. There was no cause on the TV. The weight of the world hadn’t yet reached my head. But since you’ve been gone, all I do is imagine the day the draft blows into this town. And playing on the other screen is the heavenly scene of you and I in bed and your hair hanging down. The newspaper gets me nowhere. I’ve mistaken it for my car. But with the way things are going nowadays, getting nowhere gets you real far. I wonder if those human beings on the other side feel the same. Maybe we’ll all throw down our weapons and go back to from where we all came. Don’t make me wait too long for you, love. Innocence is fading fast. I don’t mind growing up if you have to, too, love. We gotta make something last.

Alone again, he watches as the theatre now goes dark. A couple so romantic sit together in a park. Below the ear upon her neck, her lover leaves his mark, but don’t you worry baby… With collar turned now to the rain, he stumbles home to bed. Could have hopped the outbound train, chose to walk instead. In the lonely silence of his room, a voice inside his head says, "Don’t you worry, Jerry…" It’s only temporary. This time alone will end. A better place is waiting just around the bend. I have to keep believing this broken heart will mend. It’s only temporary. No breakfast on the table, only coffee or some tea. Either way, she’s all alone. Not like it ought to be. She had a boyfriend once but he’s been two years in the navy. Never seen the baby. She says, "It’s hard to meet someone when you’re a mom at 22. Not too many men want to play that scene with you. Sometimes I get the feeling that my life’s already through and I’m in the cemetery. I wish someone would tell me…" One night a friend says, "See a movie. I’ll watch Jeremy. You really need to get some air, if not some therapy. And whatever you do, Terr, make sure it’s a comedy. I don’t want you crazy." Terry grabs a cab down to the brand new multiplex and feels her pulse begin to race when a man sits right down next to her and says, "I’ve seen you at the market always looking so perplexed but also always pretty. Hello, my name is Jerry." It’s only temporary.
I don't have anything funny to say.


She said, "I’m sorry but I can’t see it at all. Standing in the yard raking leaves out in the fall." You said, "How could this be happening to me? She’s so busy being free." She’s always wanted to love the way romantics paint the sea. She’s always tried to fantasize but the damned reality is that she simply wasn’t sent here to be anyone’s everything. She’s always wanting to leave just shortly after she’s come. She lies awake counting the beats that race from aching for the sun. And she slips out just before it’s up so she don’t ever have to become anyone’s everything. She’s sorry but she can’t see it at all. Standing in the yard raking leaves out in the fall. She’s sorry but she don’t care for your little white picket fence and she’s sorry that this is where your little story ends.
But I do! Hahahahaha!
Late this morning, front desk is calling. Ten more minutes, I’m gonna miss the free buffet. But this thing is stronger than the morning hunger. If I keep this up, I’ll have to pay the extra day. You know that nightie? That naughty nightie. The one you wore when we spent all night making up. You left the light on and that was all, yeah. Now every morning since, it’s hard just waking up. I don’t want no bacon ,no sausage, no ham or scrambled eggs. Baby, all I really want to eat right now is that sweet between your…Sugar. I gotta get me get me some of that sugar. Father Aloysius, he’s in the garden. Puts down his hoe, takes off his glove and shakes my hand. The free condolence card was twenty dollars. He lights a candle and says, "We’re all just grains of sand." I kiss my mother and my great aunt Cecilia, but what’s that she’s wearing? Oh my God, It’s your perfume. All through the service sitting next to her, I feel you. Takes all I got, girl, just to stay in that church room. I know that life is short and everybody dies and that’s why I got to get myself back to that sweet between your…Sugar. You gotta gimmie gimmie some of that sugar. Cecilia’s dining room is full of good food and all these people I haven’t seen in quite some time. Great uncle Ray was always in a good mood. He liked his Celia and his Perrier with lime. We all sit around talking and remembering Uncle Ray and all those funny things he said. It’s quite a day and honey, if I have learned anything, it’s that you taste life to the full before you’re dead. So I need to get that taste of life here on my lips. The place it tastes the sweetest is that space between your…Sugar. You gotta gimmie gimmie some of that sugar.
Hey, what's that on my shoe?


Make no mistake. You and I will sleep together again and I probably won’t even want to when it happens. You’ll see me in some café on W. 4th St. under the overpass where the lonely meet and you’ll realize that I’m all you’ve ever wanted and without me, you just won’t be complete. I’ll hear you revelations and I’ll shudder. I won’t recognize who I see through all the irony. Want to go swimming? The weather’s finally fine. The pool’s in need of trimming but the water tastes like wine. My love for you is dimming and you finally want to be mine. I should have known if I stopped loving you, irony would bring you home. Make no mistake. Irony is certainly not your friend. You would never be here had I ever hoped of ever seeing you again. It is too meticulous to leave such a stain. The beauty’s in the fact you can justify your pain. Irony plays on the other outcome, leaves what you hoped would happen trickling down the drain. Cuts your expectations through like butter, lets you know there’s only one thing it could be. Irony. You said it was over and you set out on your own attack, but on your own really meant on your back. And the man who became your lover was the letter that you used to send while the man who was your cover discovered he was left to be just your friend. And now he doesn’t even want you anymore, this promise of excitement that you left me for. Can’t you hear it laughing at us just outside the door that has no key? Irony.


You don’t have to know me. You don’t have to show me. You don’t have to throw me away. You don’t have to judge me. You don’t have to budge me. You don’t have to love me today. ‘Cause we’re all doing our own thing and we’ve all got our different songs to sing. It’s really no big deal if you don’t feel it’s happening. We’re all doing our own thing. You don’t have to find me. You don’t have to sign me. You don’t have to bind me to your deal. You don’t have to rule me. You don’t have to fool me. You don’t have school me how to feel. The song weren’t meant to be played in just one way. The Good Lord didn’t do all that fine work in just one day. You don’t have to groove with what I bring you. You don’t have to dig these songs I sing you.


Is there nothing I can say to change your mind? You know the road you’re on is so designed to smash every dream in our heads that we’ve ever had. Yes, it seems we’ve all gone mad. If there’s a God, you know She’s gone insane from all the killing and crusading in Her holy name. I think deep down, She’s always thought we’d change. Oh well, I guess we haven’t changed. Was it so far off, was it blasphemy for a fool to come along and move the world to see that through peace and with love, we could lay all the differences down? You know they put people like that deep in the ground. I believe what I believe. There’s no agenda up my sleeve. We can agree not to agree. You don’t have to crash a plane for me to see. There is a God and She has cried such tears for all Her children all these many, many years. I think deep down, She’s always thought we’d change. Oh well, I guess we haven’t changed.

All songs by StephenBard/CherieLynn.

Published by BardLynn Music (BMI). Copyright 2002.